Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
