i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
