brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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