let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
