You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
