FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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