so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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