Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize