But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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