What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
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I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
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This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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