I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
