i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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