he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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