needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
