I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
