Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
