She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
