i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
She's not a foreskin expert like you
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
