the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
