i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
