i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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