mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize