Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
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We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
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Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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