but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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