so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
