remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
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