Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Randomize
