Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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