just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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