whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Randomize
