i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Randomize
