I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize