oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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