Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
