I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
being pregnant is like rehab
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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