i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize