38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
