Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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