dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Screwed.edu
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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