Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize