I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My vagina is very pro this idea
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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