just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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