And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
