when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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