We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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