honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
