At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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