If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
