It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
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I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
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Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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