Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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