I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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