matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
