wat bout pragnant strippers??
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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