I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
