Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
