I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
