She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just pee around me
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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