We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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